He looks more drug dealerish than usual...

Mary Beth and I were trying to hook up one of our friends with this guy at a coffee shop. We were trying to describe her to him. We told him she had an amazing body. He told us, "Good, Im not really a face person anyway." 

 

Isaiah didn't notice Jeremy at the apartment because apparently he looks Asian from behind. 

 

Mary Beth was mocking a self proclaimed Christian virgin who models swimsuits as "a non practicing skank".   

 

Alicia: I'm so pathetic I rewind kissing scenes on TV. 

Laura: You rewind? I fast forward. 

Alicia: Figures 

 

Mary Beth and I were complaining about the overwhelming number of people getting married that are our age. I told her the route of the problem "I don't want to get married...i just don't want anyone else to get married. 

 

Mary Beth was singing "Big Girls Don't Cry" in the car. I told her Milo Ventimiglia looked super hot in the video. She said he always looks hot. "Ya", I said, "but he looks more drug dealerish than usual". 

 

Nina was telling us about Tony and I asked her how long they had been together. She told me "We've been together for four months. How long is that in dog years?"  

 

Alicia: Do you think Bill Nye gets laid a lot? 

Jason: I don't think he's like that. 

Alicia: Do you know him? 

Jason: No 

Alicia: So this is a judgement from his Children's Science Videos? 

Jason: Yes 

Alicia: Not Helpful

 

You've Been Very Quiet

I told Laura that I wanted to stop eating loads of sugar for health reasons. She told me "ya you're going straight to diabetes in a handbasket".

While babysitting, I was telling Katie I didnt want to watch the Chippetes for the third time. Katie then goes to Laura and says, "Laura, what do you want to watch, you've been very quiet".

An unwanted male visitor was making conversation with Laura. After he was gone she told me she hoped her breath scared him off.

I was trying to give laura ideas about jobs where she could sit and do her homework and be paid like Dippin Dots. I told her it was perfect because it's the ice cream of the future, but the future hasn't arrived yet.

take your coworker home!

-Nina was saying how she missed me and that when she pictured my face in class she cried. I told her that was romantic.

-We were at Wendy's and Laura asked Allison is she had water at her house. Allison told her they were fresh out.

-As were in the carpool lane driving by the heavy traffic Kurt expressed his joy in rolling down the window and yelling "Get a friend! Take your coworker home!".

-It was really cold at Allison's house when we were sleeping and Laura got up to get a blanket. When i confronted her the next morning why she didn't share it she told me she was in survival mode.

-Laura and I had a jinx and Kurt said "you are like sisters or somethin".

-i told laura i thought i dropped a dog today. She asked why i was so unsure. Did the dog levitate?

-At the UCLA rally/bonfire Danny joked that confetti would come out of the bonfire. I joked that the weather wouldn't permit the fire and they'd cancel it. Both came true. I decided never to joke about these things again.

-Every year my mom breaks out the Christmas decorations and then exclaims we shouldn't put all the decorations up. Then Laura helps and then she proclaims how muchs she loves Christmas.
-I told Mike I wasn't planning on getting Isaiah anything for Christmas, he told me to take him to medevil times.

-I was babysitting and a little boy asked his sister "Do you know that I have God's light in me?". He then proceeded to slap her with a belt and choke her.

you are going to have weird kids

-I asked Becky what the appeal of the Patagonia store is. She said the name.

-I was watching pussycat doll search because i love the comments they make about representing strong women. Laura came in while they were writing down lyrics and asked if they were taking an intelligence test.

-Becky was talking incessantly about her playlists on her ipod. She told me she didnt like the nature noises playlist because it makes her have "to pee".

-Laura was staring at a homeless man outside the car window. I asked her if she was thinking about giving him food. She said no she was thinking about taking a picture of him and that "he looks well off".

-my mom was looking at pictures of laura and my road trip. she stated i am going to have weird kids.

-at lunch no one in my family wanted to volunteer to take the leftover food home. a competition ensued over who was going to get home later.

-i was driving and trying to roll down my window to let the mosquito out. I was veering. laura asked me if i was trying to kill the mosquito by crashing into a concrete wall.

-i dressed up reluctantly as a doctor for halloween. at work a man asked if i was a doctor and where i worked. he was serious.

-i asked what neighbor megan didn't like. i then preceeded to throw my half eaten biscuit on their lawn. she then said if she knew i was going to throw a biscuit on their lawn she would have lied.

-isaiah asked me how my day went. i told him i didn't have to use my rape whistle, which is always a positive sign.

my body is a temple

-i told laura i loved her. she told me my love was reciprocated. i told her that was the coldest i love you ive ever recieved.


-i was talking to nina on my cellphone on the way home from class. once i reached my apartment nina told me "she walked me home" and "your welcome".



-laura was stating that the only thing she likes about her logic teacher is his deck shoes.


-i told laura to shut up for good reasons. she replied you need midol.



-laura was telling me that she loves when people call her things that she's not.......except for bitch.


-laura and i ran into alex at starbucks when he was supposed to be at church. we were convincing him to go. alex told us he is at church...his body is a temple..

you're having hallucinations

-I was in the car and telling Laura I had just got 10,000 miles on my car. She told me to shut up because she had 1,000 and 10,000. We think she meant 110,000, but who knows with her.

-At the Pasadena Flea Market I spotted two celebritys. When I got around to the third person i recognized Laura said I was having hallucinations.

-Courtney and I were in line at JC Penney's, it was a long line so Courtney decided to teach me the dance to Sean Paul's Temperature. I guess I did well, she invited me to her African Dance class.

-My friends decided to rent a movie. I was trying to persuade them to get Squid and the Whale. After enduring two tortuous hours of Casanova Nina declared shed of rather seen Squid and the Hernia.

-I was wearing motorcycle boots with a dress. My mom said to change because I looked confused.

tacky 'r' us

-My mom and I were watching Oprah and the show was about finding the right jeans for your body. ...my mom then went on to say I should pay attention to the part for people with no rear end.

-While in the Phoenix airport a public service announcement came on for sexual abuse. In the background was Cyndi Lauper's "Girl's Just want to Have Fun".

-While taking a walk with Laura I asked her why she was behind me. She came and pushed me in the back and then asked me why i was on the ground.

-I went to go kick a USC chair and Elizabeth stated she hated SC too. I asked her what her favorites schools were and she said UCLA and Culinary Arts.

-I texted Jordan for notes in sport psych and he texted back "i guess" i texted back "thanks for being a martyr"

-Nina stepped on a snake while we were hiking and asked me if it bit her.

-jordan found twenty dollars on the street and asked people around him if it was their's then he said hed give it to me because i was a good cause.

-Laura asked for my camera, in which I replied $243 including tax, she then went on to laugh hysterically with one eye shut until I figured it out.

-My sister and I were talking to Debbie about moving out of state. She said she wouldn't move until her mom dies or goes to heaven. I wonder which one will come first.

-Scientists just figured out how to make beans so they don't cause gas. I now have no hope left for the priorities of our country.

-My sister since the beginning of cell phone use has the belief that her antenna on her phone is what gets her reception. She uses it like a tracking system.

-I spent the whole day with my "neice" Kaylie and she kept calling me Megan or Esther explaining to me it was my "tic tac name".

isaiah and i went to taco treat and i bought burritos. i asked him since i'm feeding him and hes hungry does that mean i'm storing up my treasures in heaven. he laughed so im guessing the answer would be a no.

megan says it must be hard for me in my family since im surrounded by hitler's dream children.
i am a cnn freak. yesterday i checked the headlines and it said "sex education delays sex with teenagers" the next day the headline read "sex education may not delay sex with teenagers".

megan was telling me about how someone asked to rent out their backroom but her mom said no. i told her to be thankful since my mom would of sold any room in our house with me in it.

-i was showing nina a skirt online that i liked. she asked if it was from tacky 'r' us

-nina was trying to memorize my phone number she told me shed remember it by people at the age of forty six get moles and people at the age of forty one are still good looking. So i'm not expecting a phone call.

-i was talking to kurt at work and i was explaining what i do. he asked why my job is so easy. i told him i work for free because i miss it when i left RHLA.

-after kurt was done telling me his mosh pit story i told him he was a good story teller. he agreed with me and his reason was because his stories come from his heart.