partially homeless

-My Dad informs me he's going to start flossing. His reasoning is that it will save him money in the future.

-My Mom told me to stop saying Geez because it sounds like Jesus. I told her it also sounds like cheese.

-I was listening to the Submarines and my mom asked me if that kind of musical was popular because she liked it. I told her I didn't know what kids were listening to these days.

-Megan's brothers had an intervention with us. They thought we were telling people they were dirty. To fix this problem they were going to walk around naked when we came over. Yes, that was going to change my mind.

-megan was telling me how weird nina's chiropractor was and how he brought up the strangest conversations. she tells me we'd get along.

-nina ties to prove to us shes smart by telling us columbus set sail in 1942. i told her that was six years before my dad was born.

-i was talking to a coworker on the way to lunch about jeeps. he said they're trying to target "street people" now. last time i checked homeless people couldn't afford cars. but i think he was using the term for another demographic.

-nina says she cant eat panda express in coffee bean because its not kosher. this was before she informed the people next to us their food smelled.

-meg says she wears a black school uniform because shes black inside. i told her that was deep

-For my third birthday dinner I ordered Mac'n'cheese. Nina tried it and said it was her reason not to commit suicide.

Julene: Where are you going?
Laura: Coffee Co.
Julene: Coffee Ho???
Alicia: Ya we sell ourselves for coffee.
Julene: Man, coffees getting expensive

-I asked a teacher how his sixth grade classes were. He told me as long as there isnt a girl trying to get married and have babies and a guy that is consenting the class is ok.

-Megan said something moderately mean to Nina. Nina told her that she had a incubator for her cold heart.

-Nina said a comment that people laughed at. She turned to me and said "that you could put on your blog". I forgot what she said.

-i asked laura how much pizza sauce she wanted on her pizza. she told me "just right".

-a guy at work got pulled over and had his car impounded because he had three outstanding tickets. he said he was going to plead stupidity at court.


-My mother was telling Alex how if she didn't have a stigmatism she wouldn't need glasses. Alex then went on to tell her thats like saying shes not married because shes single.

-Coming back from lunch Ken and I saw a homeless person with a sign that said "completely homeless". Ken said how he didn't want to be confused with the other partially homeless people.